The past few days trying for another baby has really taken its toll on me.
I have indeed shed more then a few tears over TTC this week. I have at times felt inconsoleable about the whole situation. I thought at one point I was having a break down. It did get that bad.
A few things have happend - that I wont share on here as its not my business too that did indeed, If I am being totally honest break my heart. I have so much to say on the situation but I cant.
Right now, I am numb... I guess thats a pretty accurate description. Numb. I dont feel like I am living, Just plodding along with the day to day churnings of my life.
I made a post the other day about positivity but I feel like my positive-ness has buggerd off and is now avoiding me with a passion.
Its hard to feel positive when it feels like who or whatever controls the universe has a magnifying glass and your the ant its burning.
I feel like such a div moaning about my infertility struggles because I dont feel like I have the right to be upset/angry over the whole thing.
I mean, why should I be able to be upset about being an infertile 22 year old woman who already has a 3.5yr old beautiful little girl? Does that make me greedy? Selfish? Ungreatful?
But, I cant help it. My family dosent feel complete. I cant help that.