Thursday 3 February 2011

A new hope.

I feel our appointment on Wednesday has given us a new lease of hope. After nearly 2 years the excitement of TTC had almost worn off. There is only so many times you have do the deed and keep hopfull even though deep down there is no chance that you could ever be pregnant. It got to the point where it felt like there was no point trying because there was nothing to try for. I had no real reason to try. My body was not ovulating so there was no chance I could get pregnant. It felt like my body had built up this defense and was being its own kind of birth control. A birth control that was not wanted. One that I wished would bugger off! It was the most discouraging feeling in the world. It make me feel hurt and angry knowing how badly we wanted another baby but wouldnt even be in the slighest chance of being pregnant because MY body wont work! 
Being given clomid was like a glimmer of hope. It was like finally feeling like all my hard work is starting to pay off. I am willing this to work with all my heart. I will do anything to make this work.
I am trying so hard to loose as much weight as I can between now and starting it. I would love to be 15st before I fell pregnant. Thats almost a full stone lighter then I was when I fell pregnant with Mia.  

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